Let me tell you, long distance relationships are tough but I’m here to assure you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. My husband and I started out as a long distance relationship. We dated long distance for 2 years (3 if you count the deployment right after we married)! However, I’m certain that this is what has made our relationship even stronger. Though I’ve endured a lot of loneliness and heartache during the times we were forced to spend apart, looking back I know that it has equipped us for the long run. Here are three things that I have learned from my experience.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY
One thing about long distance relationships is that it’s focus is mainly on communication and everyone knows communication is key to any relationship. When you’re dating long distance, you don’t get distracted as much by the physical attraction. You’re pretty much forced to just talk. My husband and I talked everyday, whether it be on the phone, text or FaceTime. Since talking was all we could do, we talked about almost anything and everything; topics that were meaningful that you might forget to talk about if you were not in a long distance relationship. We talked about our future, our goals, marriage, family, morals – everything!
BE COMMITTED & TRUSTFUL
Being in a long-distance relationship, it’s important to know that you truly see a future with that other person, otherwise you’re just wasting your time and enduring a lot of heartbreak and loneliness. You have to be prepared to be fully committed to that other person. I knew early on that my husband was someone special that I wanted to marry one day (though I was reluctant to admit it out loud, I knew it deep in my heart). With commitment also comes trust. You have to trust the other person. You aren’t able to see that person everyday but it doesn’t mean you have to speculate their every move. If you don’t trust that this person is going to be faithful to you, it’s just not going to work. It works the other way around too. You must also be someone who can be trusted and faithful as well. It’s a two-way street.
CHERISH EVERY MOMENT
After spending so long apart from my husband, I’ve learned a very important life lesson; cherish every moment with your loved ones. It seems easier said than done but after you’ve experienced what it feels like to miss that other person so much, you learn to cherish every moment that you do spend with that person. I try not to take any moment that I get to spend with my husband for granted. Even simple trips to the grocery market together are so special to me. It’s something that I wasn’t able to do before. I would always go places alone and feel sad when I saw other couples happy and holding hands because I wished it could be me with my husband. This has only lead me to realize that every moment should be cherished.
So there you have it – 3 things that I have learned from my long-distance relationship. I have learned more than just those 3 points but these to me are the most relevant. Just know that long-distance moments are not going to be forever (hopefully). Communicate often, send pictures of things you did during the day and make a countdown to the day you two will see each other again. It always helps to have something to look forward to. And remember, don’t think too much about finding the one but start preparing yourself to be the one. This is a great point that I read from a book called Loveology by John Mark Comer. Definitely a great read about marriage, God and love. I highly recommend.
Until next time,
xoxo – Gloria